Category Archives: Reflections

My Summer’s Winter Sky

photo (1)After years and years of waiting, yesterday my first book was finally published.

So far it’s still just an ebook, but the print version will follow soon. Since I’m an avid Kindle reader, I’m okay with that. For the moment. Hopefully a brief moment! (I’ve learned to tolerate waiting, not to like it.)

I experienced moments of panic yesterday about all sorts of things. Even with all the waiting, I didn’t feel entirely ready for the book to be “out there.” Still so much to do.

For one thing, my website theme is supposed to have a background image of some kind, and I just hadn’t been able to find the right one. I wanted a cloudy winter sky, but with the sun sort of peeping through, to continue the theme of my book cover. I had looked all over the place, even at all the sky pictures on Flickr that gave permission for folks like me to use them–amazing pictures by talented photographers. But the background wasn’t quite right.

As I left my job at the library, the sun was just starting to go down. It was cold but still, crisp and mostly clear with just a few puffy clouds, and the sun peeping through as it went down. My Summer’s Winter sky!

I stopped the car in the middle of the road around campus, jumped out of my car, and snapped this picture with my iphone. Within the hour, I had the background on my website just the way I wanted it.

Just another lovely gift from God on the day that He smiled on my dreams!

NOTE: To leave a comment, click on the title of the post, which will make the comment box appear. Thanks! And please do let me know you stopped by.


Lady Mary and Dealing with Grief

Michelle Dockery as Lady Mary on Downton Abbey.
Michelle Dockery as Lady Mary on Downton Abbey.

Last night’s Downton Abbey was a shocker. I’m still reeling from what happened to my favorite character, Anna–and worried what it will do to my favorite couple, Anna and Bates.

But in the midst of all that, there was a quiet moment from Lady Mary that really struck me. She was talking to Anna about her grief over losing her husband, and said she was mourning not only Matthew, but also for the person she used to be when he was alive.

That’s not something I recall hearing before, but oddly enough, I said something similar about myself a couple of months ago.

I lost my father back in March, and I spent a lot of time taking care of him for several years before then. Life became very busy, and crammed with my full-time job plus caregiving. Somehow, the imaginative Robin with her head full of stories got crowded out. There wasn’t time to think, let alone to dream.

I went through a period of mourning back in the fall when I almost felt dead, myself. Most of the time I felt flat and not at all creative, and I would remember the “old Robin” with a kind of sadness. But then there would come times when a song, or a sunny day, or something unexpected would revive me, and then that hurt, too, because the memories would come flooding in. Then–like Lady Mary–I would feel grief for the old Robin with her family intact, and with her funny, fun dad.

I’m better now. I thank God I have my book coming out soon. It’s forcing me to think of stories and be creative again, and that’s a very good thing. And most days, I feel revived. But grief is an up and down thing.

I’ll be watching Lady Mary’s journey (and Matthew’s mom, Isobel) with interest this season. I trust the Downton Abbey writers to handle it with sensitivity and to keep it real.

NOTE: To leave a comment, click on the title of the post, which will make the comment box appear. Thanks! And please do let me know you stopped by.